Creative living: Risk being you
I can’t believe how long it has been since my last post. Transition time in my home is done and everything is settled. I find I now have time that I didn’t have before. Time to read, write, and be creative, and yet my body decided to totally shut down on me and told me to sleep and recuperate. As much as I was frustrated about being sick two weeks in a row, I needed to begin to listen to my body and to rest. Now that I still have a bit of relax time and am on the upswing I thought it was a great time to focus my attention back to you! I hope first of all that you will celebrate with me on the move to my own domain, agirlwithcurls.com. I am excited about this new journey and can’t wait to see where it goes! Secondly this week I have been thinking about my vision for this blog and the idea of creative living. I was challenged by the fact that creative living requires risking authenticity and willingness to put yourself, your thoughts, and ideas out in the open. I came across a meme yesterday while browsing the internet and it said, “Next time you’re afraid to share ideas remember someone once said in a meeting let’s make a film with a tornado full of sharks,” and as silly as that meme may be it is true, we have no idea what ideas might piqué someone’s interest or inspire something great! (or not so great, in the case of the above meme) We all have areas in our life that feel more vulnerable than others. For me those two areas are communication and decision-making. Now wait a minute, neither of those things sound very creative, do they? They sound methodical and businesslike, but bear with me for a little while. Communication in both forms of writing and speaking are important to creative living for conveying ideas and visions. Writing comes naturally if it is just me, my pen, and my paper; thoughts flow. However, when it comes to someone sitting beside me asking questions or myself wanting to communicate clearly the words either tumble out or are stuck in my head forever. There is obviously vulnerability with each form of communication. That vulnerability for me is in the thought process. When I write I have the opportunity to process as I go, taking ideas down and changing my mind. However, when it comes to talking the process is in the open for the other person to see or to hear… and backspace is a little more difficult to achieve. “Hi, yes could you just forget that last sentence, yeah that’s not really what I meant…” No matter what form of communication I am good or bad at, both are important. The other area I need to work on is decision-making. Honestly, I have a track record of being pretty brave with decisions I make, and my process is a little hilarious. I usually know I am on the right track when I am nervous beforehand I have two types of nerves; the first is a ball in the pit of my stomach that is mixture of excitement and fear of failure, while the second is a ball of dread. If it is the latter of the two it is that it is the wrong choice. But if it the first set of nerves I know I have to go after it and finish. This has happened to me a lot, when I switched majors to vocal performance and again when I began pursuing work on creative writing. When I began this blog I had family members telling me that I was a natural at blogging and they encouraged me to reach out to someone about possibly building a professional blog to advertise and what International Falls area has to offer for tourists and the local community. I listened to my family and reached out. Oh my goodness, my heart was in my stomach when I sent that e-mail. However, as soon as I pushed “send” I knew it was what I needed to do. Nothing ever came of it, but having the guts to believe in myself was important, and it opened up ideas. I realized I enjoyed blogging and this style of writing, and it eventually led to the desire to take the chance and start my own domain. So where is my struggle in this area you might ask? For me it is always the follow-through after the first leap. Jumping off the cliff is one thing but believing I will land gracefully is a whole other story. I want to commit to living my life creatively. I want to risk being myself in communication and decision-making, by learning to openly and clearly express my ideas and visions, and by following-through with my decisions.
***The pictures I am posting today are from my trip back up north last week. My roommate and I visited my parents, and even though I got sick we still made time to go four-wheeling, blueberry picking, and boating on the river. The pictures are from the boat trip. It was a stunning day and I was sad when my phone ran out of battery and I could no longer take pictures.